What a year!!!!!
Probably the fastest passing year I ever recall. They say years go much faster the older you get, but MAN!! 2016 was like LIGHTENING!!
For alot of people, 2016 was AWFUL!!! I'd be lying if I said I didn't experience my own challenges. In fact I faced ALOT of shit in 2016.
There were good times though, in fact, there were GREAT times. And I think sometimes when you experience alot of pain in a year, it's hard to remember the good stuff, so for this wrap up, I'll start with the bad and say goodbye to it, then finish with the good, celebrate it, be grateful for it, and attract more of it into my 2017.
For me, 2016 was a year of heartache.
Being a personality who is so open to love in all of its forms, I think alot of the time I feel so much more for people than they feel for me. Romantic relationships aside, I have real LOVE for my friends. Deep love. True Love. Fierce love.
Because of that love, and how real it is for me, when frienships fail, or simply cease to exist, I experience great loss. Deep, dark hurt in my heart. Hurt that affects my physical as well as my emotoinal.
2016 for me, seemed to be the year of ended friendhips, and the most ridiculous part of it was that in almost all cases, there was no event that sparked the end. Not a crossed word, not a misunderstanding, not even a conversation. Simply a case of one day we were friends, and the next day we weren't.
Now of course, a situation like this takes a while for the people involved to realise what is going on, and in my case it took some time for me to realise people that I treated as a priority in my world, didn't even treat me as an option in theirs.
A nasty pill to swallow for anyone, and unfortunately one I endured on numerous occasions this past year. The snowball effect of all these occasions with different people, left me cautious, and even suspicious of people and their intentions towards me. I let this experience turn me from being an open hearted welcomer of love, into a suspicious loner, afraid of the hurt love was sure to bring.
I am still cautious. I am still wary. I am still terrified of experiencing this kind of heartache again, and again. But I will not let the behaviour of others, change who I am as a person. I will continue to love, honestly, openly and intensly.
Another dificulty of 2016 was my journey to becoming a mother. My struggle is not something I like to talk about at all, so I won't go into great detail, but for 7 years, my husband and I have been trying to start a family to no avail. This past year we began the exciting yet harrowing path of IVF. To this point it has not been an expierience that I have any fond memories of, but with the help of complitentary medicine and therapists, I have great hope hat 2017 will provide me with a different story to tell.
The creative world experienced incredible loss in 2016. Of course any person dying is a sad time, and I don't claim that celebrity death is more important than any other. I do think though, that when a person of celebrity, who has touched, inspired, and been so giving of their creativity, passes away, deep community loss is felt. We usually experience it once or twice a year, but 2016 was a doozie!!
From pain, comes growth.......
As dark as times got for me, I am fortunate to have surfaced on the other side, and that is because 2016 provided some wonderful things aswell!!
I launched this very website and blog!! I will admit my posting schedule has not been what I had hoped it would be at the beginning of the year, but the fact that I still have excitement for it and the drive to take it further tells me its not quite a failure yet!
I set and smashed goals for myself on social media, with my followers on facebook reaching a whopping 16,500 before the years end. This year is now just a case of working out what to do with such an audience......I've got a few things up my sleeve!!
I taught my final year of students with Creations School of Dance. I watched children that 4 years ago could not enter my class room without severe anxiety, become leaders of not only themselves, but of other students around them. I experienced 11 year olds with the elloquence and heart of adults, pour out their love and appreciation, and I felt truly truly LOVED. I will miss my students terribly, but am proud of myself for putting my own needs first. The extra time not teaching will allow me in my personal endeavours is priceless.
I auditioned, was cast, and walked my very first catwalk for Melbourne Fashion Week Plus. This was an exciting, challenging, exhausting and exhillerating few days, and I could not be prouder of what I achieved personally, as well as what the entire team achieved socially. Being a part of social change is such an incredible feeling, I definitely found a new love and desire to do more in this area.
I grew my businesses to a point, where I can proudly say, I am 100% self employed!! My salon and my accessories label, provide me with enough income now that I need not look elsewhere for extra work. I have HUGE plans for the future of both businesses, and am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to grow them to this point. I am proud, I am exhausted, but I am determined to take them both further........LOOK OUT WORLD!!!
Lastly, I have kept my heart open enough, to be able to make some new friends. Making friends can be difficult at any time in life, but as an adult I think it is particulary tricky. Especially when you seem to the rest of the world to have it all together, but secretly are struggling with some of the realest hurt and heartache the universe has ever thrown at you. I hope to grow these friendships, and through them establish strong, honest connections with like minded humans. Because when all else fails.......
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!!